That Bitch

Rosalita. Even her name sounds wrong to me. She is from Turia but claims to be of Tuchuck birth. I have never been the sort of woman to shun outsiders too quickly, if at all, but Rosalita was different. Perhaps it was because it was Trayu who brought her here. Perhaps it was the way she sat in his saddle with her shapely arms around his neck. Perhaps it was how quickly he comforted her when she was unable to find her 'long lost' father among our people. Perhaps.. it was how often she spoke to him, how quick she was to judge me, how harshly she spoke to my daughter and how rarely Trayu said anything about it. Perhaps it was how beautiful she was, how much she glittered in ways I was sure I never could. She was, in a word, sexy.

She was taken in by a family of potters but quickly found herself more comfortable working with cloth. She makes lovely dresses for the women, not as colorful as I would like but still lovely. Rosalita finds bright colors and lights disturbing, she prefers dark colors, dark spaces. Trayu once joked that I was his light, his central fire.. but that Rosalita was his night time. Rosalita giggled horribly at the fire to his pleasure. I rose in silence and left them. I wished then that I had done something.. said something. But I never did. Trayu, to my knowledge, never knew how much Rosalitas very presence hurt me.

I wished he would collar her so she could be what she truly was.. and I could have been satisfied knowing she was no longer my equal. Is that terrible of me? I wanted to see her wearing dirty rags and scrubbing a sooty pot.

Since Trayus death she has quickly moved on. She spends her time batting her eyelashes, fantastically thick and full lashes, at Serge now. I see her often, she will come by when he is here. Unlike before I am now sometimes glad for her interference. Serge is pulled in by her even more easily then Trayu was. I can see how much this pleases Rosalita, she enjoys taking things from me I suppose, though I cannot imagine why. She can have Serge.. I know Fonce would be angry with me for that but it might be worth it, it really might.

"I heard the child is ill, perhaps you fed her something bad." That was Rosalitas comment at my fire last night when she twirled by in her black and grey skirts. My hand tightened on the long handled spoon I was using to scrape the cocking pot clean. I did not answer Rosalita but she watched me anyway, waiting for .. Something. I could have flung the char form the pot at her, ruined her pretty face, part of me longed to do it.. to do something that horrible and burn her. It would be the easiest thing I'd ever done.

I inhaled deeply and held it a moment, grounding myself before I let my breath go and looked up again at her. She laughed at my expression and continued on her way. I watched her go.. hating her, hating all the feelings she inspired in me.. and mostly hating the side of Trayu she forced me to recall.

The part that wanted the opposite of me.