"Fonce..?" I repeated as he led me to the Ubars wagons. He looked at me and I saw his outrage. I was not sure if it was for me yet or not but I try, with him, to never assume anything. Really. "Silence." he said and I nodded, meek and mild.
To say I was bewildered is not enough. To say I was frightened was not enough. I stood there, before the Ubar, my hand on the small round of my belly, my elbow firmly in Fonces grip. He was not hurting me, then, but it was a rougher grip then I had felt from him before. It was.. an interesting grip. I had no time to pay it any attention before Fonce.. offered to chain me to the Ubars wagon!
"What have I done?!" I demanded, I was supposed to be the good girl! I did not get chained to wagons, the Ubars or otherwise. I saw Tarra, Mezoo and then Cana watching with wide eyes.
"Silence." Fonce told me again, a little more strong but not cruel. I knew he was saying it for my own benefit, and perhaps for his sanity. The Ubar did not want me chained though; I suspect a pregnant nobody year keeper would not really round his collection of healers and dwellers.
I looked up at him, my guardian, hurt and angry and terrified of what he was doing to me. Can I tell you the things that ran though my head? Was I being.. sold? Traded? Collared? Had I offended someone? Had it been my story? Perhaps the sleen keeper took the whole 'being handled' thing more seriously then I had? Was it because I had not finished Tugs painting? Was it because I had painted at all? Panic was making me tremble as Fonce and the Ubar, the two most powerful men in my life and on the plains.. discussed.. me.
"Please.." I tried again, I was crying now, I had worked myself up into a fine mess of emotions. My tears were not the pretty kind, not today. Fonce would not be reaching down to wipe them away this time.
"You have been accused of being inside of Fonces wagon with him." The Ubar told me sternly. The gravity of that sentence was crushing. My gasp was tiny, small and delicate.
Right about then.. The world shifted under me. It sank a full inch lower and I took a moment to catch up. I heard a little pop in my neck as my head swiveled from one man to the next. I nearly laughed! "I.. do not understand." I truly did not. I could see the woman’s faces and I met their eyes. I had nothing to be ashamed of.
The Ubar told me it was Yamka who accused me. Yamka who said she saw me there. Yamka who is my friend. Yamka whose heart I have tried to cheer again and again. Yamka who I told was wise and beautiful. Yamka who betrayed me in a very obvious.. nasty way. She lied. I did not believe it!
I do not know what I will say to Yamka when I see her again or if I will say anything at all. Perhaps I should give her a chance to explain.. Once she has finished explaining to the men in my life why she saw fit to try and hurt me and by extension, them. The Ubar and Fonce have a millions things to handle before they should have to deal with the kind of absurdity I saw displayed tonight.
What happened next has changed how I view those three women forever.. Tarra, Cana and Mezoo. As each one came forward and, scoffing, asked to be chained with me for they too had been to Fonces wagons. Friendship that that is a rare and gentle thing among women. Women are often jealous of each other, vindictive and cruel.. but tonight the four of us were sisters.. regardless of mates or guardians or back wagons or first fires or children or clan. We were all sisters of the sky.
Tarra and Cana finally pried me away from Fonce and I held their hands tightly, sitting with them and leaning on Mezoos back for support. It's a really good thing they pulled me away because the conversation when from discussing my supposed slutting about Fonces wagon.. to the father of my child. That man was going on about a larl attack and demanding to know just how pregnant I was. I was so proud to hear them telling him it was none of his business.
The conversation among the three men just got weirder from there. I tried to keep out of it, even when Trayu was insulted and.. he was. I am not an angry woman, I have never actually hit a man with a spoon, or a pot. I threw a boot at Trayu once but he caught it and laughed at me. Tonight though I wanted to hit that man. I wanted to knock him down on the ground and jump up and down on his back while I extolled the virtues of myself, my dead mate and my unborn child’s parentage. I wanted to .. swear at him.
I am not really sure anyone would have stopped me either.
The man who had so loudly spoken against me was stripped of his command. He spoke of murdering me for the rumors he had heard. It felt like a knife in my belly. I did not know any Tuchuck who would ever even consider taking the life of another for words that had no truth, no proof. And a pregnant woman? A mother? What made me so important that my life should be taken away because I may or may not have had sex with a man?
Eventually the topic turned to the dweller healer. I kept my gaze on my guardian which I am sure looked suspicious but hopefully.. they were seeing what I was seeing.
I am a very lucky woman. Even among Tuchuck men what Fonce did for me was something special. He defended me in a way few other men would have defended a woman. I was loved, cared for and.. kept. I have unshakable friendships with women I love.
Perhaps I will not be very angry with Yamka after all.
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