Gone with the Wind

Lei seems disturbed this year by the move and it took me a few days to realize why.

"How will he know where to find us?"

She asked me as I walked beside the wagon. Naldo, one of your younger friends was driving for me. Lei leaned over the side as we spoke and behind us walked Silver, your Kaiila, he was behaving well, considering.

I was startled by the question.. did she not realize what dead meant? Had I not explained things well enough? "Lei.." I began, wetting my lips as I looked up at her face. her eyes were so full of .. belief. She believed, wholly, that I had all the answers, that I knew everything. How could I ever let her down? I sighed and reached up to pull her off the wagon so she was straddling my hip and I could press my cheek to hers.. I wanted to whisper in her ear.

"He will find us in our dreams, Lei, no matter where we are."

She wrapped her skinny arms around my neck and quietly began to cry. She was so quiet with her tears wetting my shoulder. It was the first time she had really cried and the first time I saw she really understood. You are gone, forever, you are never coming back. Perhaps I was not harsh enough in my explanation? The well of sorrow she let out on my shoulder as too heavy for my heart to stand and as we walked I began to cry with her. My heart was shattering all around me. Little reflective pieces of it blew away in the wind, swallowed up by the skies.

Even the anxious spring winds were not enough to dry the tears your girls cried for you. Naldo glanced back at us once and quickly looked away, my tears embarrassed him. For once though I cared little for who might see this silent display of emotions. We left a trial of shimmery tears on the ground today but.. I hope that by the time we reach fresh ground that our crying is over with.

I want to smile again.