Stomping boots

Being a little girl, Lei had more then one pair of shoes. Though, unfortunately she had only pair of boots. Much of the time I let her run around barefoot close to the wagon. She had expressed a desire to 'Feel the grass grow up between my toes and whisper to me.' that I could not ignore. When she skipped down the lanes to find Also or Fonce or Cana she often wore little leather sandals that I had made for her. They were falling apart though and getting too small.

Things had been quiet for her and I lately and I preferred it that way. No one had pointed a finger in my direction and I had kept to my friends. I had spent time with Tug, who was still working on that rope I didn’t even need. At this point though I don’t think that mattered. He would make me a rope if it took him a year! Also and Lei spent a lot of time together, running back and forth between our wagons and Canas and spending much discussion on how much fun it would be when we moved our wagons to the those of the First Wagons household. I did not have the heart to tell them that was only an If. Not everyone was invited to be of the Ubars household, of the First Fires. And as far as Year keepers went, Tayran had me beat by a mile! Which was really all right with me.

It was one of those conversations the children were having as I checked on the milk I was boiling over the fire. Lei was telling Also about an adventure she wanted to go that sounded..

"And then we will borrow my mothers Kaiila and ride out to where the larls live. You can be the look out and I will go in and slay the beast!" Lei told him with a silent dare to challenge her. I heard a rare laugh from her friend and I smiled to myself.

"Maybe tomorrow, Lei." He told her calmly.

"Oh, okay." She shrugged. My daughter was exhaustingly energetic and stuffed full of so many ideas and plans that it was a wonder her head did not thud like a drum to the ground from holding it up all inside of her.

"Let’s go see your mother working." Which seemed to the next best thing to hunting larls? Also nodded though and they both got to their feet..

"Wait, Lei.. If you are going to the kaiila pens you need to wear your boots."

How was I to know the horror of what I had just said? The night Fonce spoke to the children Lei had come home late and alone. She had crawled into the wagon where I was waiting and hugged me. I knew that she had spoken to him but I had not pressed her into telling me how it had gone. All she was willing to give was...

"It's private, mother."

We curled up together that night and every night since then. Lei was acting a little overly protective of me lately. I assume she is worried about the baby. Every time I went to the first fires she insisted on tagging along. What did she think she could protect me from there? Bad stew? The whole thing was bordering on the irritating so it was nice to be able to be the adult in our relationship again. Lei was just looking at me.

"Boots, now." I pointed my spoon at the place by the wagon steps where I expected to see her boots.

"I do not have any boots." She explained matter of factly.

I noticed Also suddenly become very interested in Tugs rope making skills.

"Of course you do, Yamka made you a lovely pair of boots, where are they?"

"Well Mother, I threw them in the stream. Fonce said it was a healthy expression of my anger." Lei is five on the outside, but twenty five on the inside.

I just stared. "I.. What?"

Lei sighed at my silly grown up obsession with making sense. "I threw them away because they are not magic boots Mother, they are liar boots."It was glaringly obvious I should have known that.

"Lei.. You cannot throw away perfectly good boots, well made boots even. Yamka is of the first fires, you are lucky to have such a talented leather worker mak-"

"I said I do not want liar boots!" She shouted at me, really shouted! I was stunned into slack jawed silence. People in neighboring wagons paused to look over at us.

Lei stood there, her hands on her hips, looking quite distressed at my apparent lack of understanding on the very important matter of.. boots.

"I want stomping boots." She said this quietly, her gaze firmly meeting mine.

"Asria.." A gentle hand touched my arm and I turned my head to meet the calm and reassuring gaze of Mezoo's mother, Aster. "If it is all right I know a leather work that does good work. Perhaps I could take Lei to meet him this afternoon."

"That would be all right." Lei answered for me. I smiled though and hugged her. While our men had been distant cousins and we had long since been neighbors, there was an age difference in Astar and I that had kept us from growing too close. I regretted that often. I would have liked to have a mother like her. I would have liked to be a mother like her.

"That would be wonderful." I admitted as I let go of her shoulders. "Perhaps you could take her now? Right now?" I asked. Astar chuckled and understood my silent plea for peace.

"All right, come along little barefoot Tuchuk." She held out her hand and Lei took it solemnly. "By the way Asria, your wagon looks wonderful." There was a touch of sadness in her words though. Astar understood the language I had painted in. I do not think she has begun to speak it as well though.

As they left I sat down slowly on my wagon steps. Tug found some reason to skedaddle which was best.. He was learning quickly to run from women who looked about to be messy and sticky with emotion.

I couldn't be angry at Fonce for telling Lei about what Yamka had said, I had after all been glad that he did it for me. And I couldn't blame my daughter for her righteous anger. I admired her a little for it. It was harder for me to be angry like that. To express it so neatly. Lei was angry, she felt wronged.. So she did something about it that was immediate and quick. I smiled a little, my arms draped over my knees. I wished I had something that I could attach my irritation, my shame and humiliation too.. and then just throw it away.

I wished I was more like my daughter.