Goodbye! Hello!

After Fonce left us ladies to our work (Though I know he chuckled!) Lei and I looked at each other with our own grins growing. Today was a day for reconnection, for bonding. Today I would not cry.

Lei ran to me and wrapped her arms around my thighs, her face buried in my hip. She said nothing but it was all there. Today we were saying goodbye to her daddy. Today we were turning the straps that held us to him into the spider web fine threads of the past. We were not, let me clarify, letting him go. Not ever. But in order for people to move on.. they must shut some doors. I laid my hand to her hair and soothed her.

I should have asked Fonce to send catch and red over later. Lei and I were surely going to make a mess. We had amassed every color under the rainbow, mixing new colors from the powders, the dried berries and insects ground into dust and then thickened with water. Paint could be a disgusting thing to make. But so much fun! Most of what we had we collected form friends, and some I got for the Artisan clan fires. The rest was stuff we had on hand and what we made. The brushes too were made mostly from our own Bosk's hair, I preferred bristles from the tail. We had a small basketful from the Artisans as well, who had taken pity on my poor naked wagon and invested these metal wrapped brushes from the cities.

Yesterday our friends had been by, talking and laughing filling up my soul again as they helped put down the base coat, smoothing down the wrinkles and making the leather more taut. Lei and I had watched and helped and felt a strong reminder that life does go on. Love never dies. It was a regular party at our place! Even Cana and Mezoo poked around I think. Today we were ready to begin and we had not asked for help.

This was a family affair. Trayus girls.

The images all had to do with water. Water washes the soul clean, gives new life to the frail and heals us like nothing else can. It feed us, waters us, and sustains us. Water is where I feel most at home.

Some of the images were bright watery ribbons of color. A color for every memory of him, every emotion he ever inspired in me. A color for his love and his kisses and a color for the mad jealousy he was too quick to feel. A color for the glimmer in his eyes late at night under the stars. A color for the smiles we shares. A color for our past and a color for my future.


On one panel I painted this image of a great wide river I could only imagine. The horizon is too far away to make out and there are great dark unknown spots in the water. This one is for Lei. For all her unknowns and all her unanswered questions. She will be sitting up there one day with such shapely legs and looking down at the world with a curiousity that could rival yours Trayu.

Our Daughter, Ubara of the Sky.


Lastly, right over the flaps.. I painted this. A great meeting in the sky of you and I. Because I am moving forward Trayu, but I am not doing it alone. You are never going to be forgotten, Your finger will always be on my heart.

Your oceans begin where my shore ends.


Lei and I worked all day; she helped on every picture, creating tiny imperfections that made them that much more perfect. Among the blue clouds was a smear of my daughter’s handprint.. When she cried about messing it up.. I pressed my own palm right next to hers. Call it the signature of a Tuchuk artist.. or two. Lei gasped at what I had done and then began to slowly giggle. I laughed with her and we sat down in the grass, looking up at our work as the sun went down over the top of it. Without thinking about the wet paint on my hand I hugged her...

"Mama! my blue dress!" She was so offended! I covered my mouth with my hand apologetically and... she laughed. I now had a smear of blue across my lips. I grinned and reached for her, smearing the same blue on her cheek and before you know it.. There were shrieks of laughter and indignant gasps echoing around us. Our dresses were a mess! There was paint everywhere, even in our hair.

Eventually we would leave the wagon and the mess and our hearts paintings and head for the stream to make some effort to clean ourselves up. While I was washing my own face and then Leis she spoke to me.

"Are you going to show Fonce?" it seemed a good question. But.. I still was not sure how Fonce felt about my painting as a .. thing I liked to do. I did not want to have to face the kind of hurt I felt when he was dissapointed in me. More then that though.. I knew he would be by tonight, or in the morning. He often came by to check on things. many times I was asleep or not even there. He would be unable to miss what we had done.

"I think, this is something he should see on his own, Lei." I answered her. I assumed she would not see what I did. But Lei was always surprising me.

"I think so too." And then ...she splashed me.