Sheltered

"Higher Mama!' She shrieked, her little girl giggles lighting up the dusk. Lei and I were dancing in the stream, staying close the edge as we spun in quick circles to see how dizzy we could get. I suppose I am not the most traditional of Tuchuk mothers. But it's pretty common knowledge that I am really good at breaking stereotypes.

We made our splashes go higher, our skirts soaked but our faces were radiant. If any of our friends had come by we would have pulled them rudely into the water with us and shoved our silly girl joy down their throats.

It's lucky they didn’t, right?

Instead we left the stream, my son was napping on a thick blanket on the bank, his hair was growing thick and curly and his dark lashes nestled sweetly against his fat baby cheek. I checked on him as Lei began to gather small white daises and then flopped onto her belly, all out of breath and began to weave a chain.

Yamka arrived and I lit up, pleased to have company, pleased to see her again. She was always avoiding me and acting sullen around me. It was heartbreaking really because I did not understand it. When you laid it all out Yamka was the one who hurt me, she had lied about me and had nearly cost me my life and the life of my son because of her thoughtless words. She had hurt Fonce though me, and the Ubar. Though all of that I had defended her, I had said it was a mistake.. and I was quick to forgive her, quicker then others thought I should have been. So you see.. I never understood why, since then, Yamka acted as I had betrayed her.

I hate feeling like my efforts are wasted.

We had hardly spoken when a man arrived, a stranger to me but not to Yamka. I am amused and somewhat envious of how easily her heart flickers for a man. I do not have so much control over my own emotions, I cannot turn my feelings off for one man and on for another.. Skies I wish I could. I can see that Yamka likes him very much but from our brief meeting I am not so sure he feels the same.

Mating.. it always comes up around Yamka. She said it wouldn’t happen for her for a long time and my lips twitched thoughtfully. "I will be mated whenever Fonce chooses someone worthy of me." Can you imagine such a man? There was meaning in my words and if Fonce had been there his eyes would have met mine briefly.

Yamka frowned at me. "Isn’t the Ubar your guardian?"

I smiled. "Yes, he is."

Who my legal Tuchuk guardian was .. was completely beside the point. If you asked me who spoke for me, who protected me, who guarded me or who kept me hatefully ensconced way up high and out of reach? I would tell you it was Fonce. Even if he denied it I would still tell you that. My persistence is quiet but it is unbreakably strong.

The topic came around to Tasco being.. a bad man.. which appalled me! There is no such thing as a bad Tuchuk! Yamka seemed to agree with him that he was bad but I must have misunderstood that. Tasco laughed, that was his name, and asked me if I was a very sheltered woman.

.. Why does everyone always think I am?

Because you are.

I blushed a little and shrugged. Perhaps I am sheltered; perhaps I like it that way. Perhaps I am the sort of woman a man should shelter. I am fragile, delicate.. and still strong. Riddle me.. me.

Tasco laughed at my reaction, his eyes are dark and they glimmered with the amusement he found in me.

"My father said the only cure for that is a hard slap or a rough fuck."

I was so offended! And, I admit, amused. Yamka had grown quiet, I had not meant to dominate the mans attention, really. I was trying very hard to remain stern and not laugh too much at his.. threat. I am not a blushing virgin, after all.

"If you have a problem with how I live you make speak to the men who speak for me."

He laughed at my parried threat which wasn’t much of a threat at all because Fonce and the Ubar would have thought Tasco terribly funny if either us had told him. He grinned at me and I felt a little blossom of friendship spring up out of the earth.

"I did not say I had a problem with it, only how my father would have fixed it." Aren’t you a smooth talker!

I am pleased to have met Tasco the Scarrer. There is something inside of him I have seen in few men before. Something all the men that were ever important to me had. A sparkle down deep in his eyes. I already trust him. I am already unafraid of him.

I already know.. I am extremely naive.